Should you be looking for a gift for your child, at Christmas or a birthday, or simply looking to buy something that they might enjoy and learn from, the idea of a hamster may seem a good one. An easy way for children to interact with an animal and, providing they do not kneel on it and squish it – hey it happens – they can experience the value of all living things. So a hamster then?
Wrong. Not a chance. Because getting a hamster is not a good idea.
To begin hamsters have nothing to do. Like...nothing. They get bored and you feel guilty knowing they're there with no meaningful purpose. Yes they do have the wheel but they only get on it because they think it will take them somewhere else. They run on it, get off, look about, get confused, get back on, run on it and then repeat the process dozens of times throughout all the night. What about hamster balls then? Nope. Too noisy plus they get stuck underneath the furniture and up you will constantly have to get from the couch and rescue them.
Like Teens, Hamsters Up All Night
As with most teenagers hamsters are nocturnal beasts. In the year since we got our guy, Hammy – most hamsters are called Hammy – our 10-year-old son (not nocturnal) and the little beast have seen one another about 19 minutes. One goes to bed, the other gets up and then when that one goes to bed the other one gets up. They haven’t bonded.
Meanwhile you can hear Hammy trying to get out while you watch the late news. It's distracting and the guilt will prevent you from fully enjoying the litany of world disasters. So why not pick them up and give them a pet, you ask? Because they don't like that. They don't like being picked up or petted and, constantly on the move, they will try to get away. They're like ADD animals, they can't stay still, forever in a hurry with no where to go.
Hamsters are Targets for Cats
And if they do get away it rarely turns out good for Hammy. If he manages to avoid having his neck snapped by the cat he will get stuck in a heating vent and turn into a vaguely disturbing odor. Don't believe me? Ask kids in your daughter or sons classroom about their experience with hamsters and you'll find stories of bored hamsters, missing hamsters, hamsters eaten by other animals and hamster carcasses found decaying behind the fridge.
So avoid the guilty and the constant gnawing and persistent rattling sounds. Avoid sending out the search party only to find a decomposing hamster in a closet two months later.
Avoid a hamster altogether.
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